Why does my future daughter-in-law have to approve my dress & shoes before the wedding?

i'm so tired of the 'duh....its her wedding' answers. talk about spoiled bridezilla brats! sheesh. in answer to your question its not her place to tell her guests or family what they can nor can not wear.


her concerns are for her wedding party, period. trying to dictate what everyone else should wear is just a little controlling and tyranical.


having said that, if your outfit is entirely inappropriate then of course someone should tell you so. i have seen mothers show up in dresses suitable for twenty year olds. or dresses cut up to here, and down to there. or dresses exactly like the wedding party. or in all white dresses. one in all black with a funeral veil and hat.


i am sure you understand what i am saying - as long as you know how to dress yourself decently with style and class then i don't see that she has much to say about it.

Why does my future daughter-in-law have to approve my dress %26amp; shoes before the wedding?
Well, it's not that she HAS to but that she WANTS to. She wants to make sure you look your best, that the outfit is flattering to you, that the colors won't clash with the wedding decor (or you end up with pretty bad photos), and perhaps she just wants total control. If this isn't that big a deal to you, don't make it into one...I have a feeling it's more important to her than it is to you.
Reply:The idea of "coordinating the mother's dresses" is born from the idea that they should coordinate with the colors of the bridesmaids dresses, but not match them. Etiquette wise, the mother of the bride gets to buy her dress first. She is then supposed to let the mother of the groom know what color she bought, so they don't match, either. If there are stepmothers involved, they get to shop last.





The bride should only be involved if she is acting on her mother's behalf, letting you know what color she bought, so you can buy your dress. I don't think she needs to "approve" your dress and shoes as much as she wants to make sure they are not too formal or informal for the style of the wedding. If she used the word "approve", she may have just meant that she wants to see what you got, so make sure it goes with (coordinates with) the other dresses.
Reply:lol...I'm not into all this wedding guideline stuff. I say wear what you want, what you are comfortable in, what you feel like is appropriate. I'll be damned if someone tells me what I can wear to my own kid's wedding.


I personally feel like brides go a bit overboard on little things like this. Yes it is your day, but you don't have to go all crazy on the people you love over something so stupid.


If people put as much effort, time, and money into their actual marriage that they do on their wedding, our divorce rate would be a lot lower.


Good luck!
Reply:SHe doesn't HAVE to.


I would follow what Sarah and Kiki said, and be tellin her to "step Off"
Reply:To be sure that the various dresses' colors and styles will harmonize in the photos, so the everybody in the pictures kind of "goes together" with no one looking like they don't belong. I disapprove of brides dictatorially selecting other people's dresses, but I think it's appropriate for the bride to have "veto power" over what anyone in the ceremoney, receiving line, or head table will wear. (It's not like she's telling you have to wear a dress that you hate -- she's only asking that you NOT wear a dress that she hates.)
Reply:I don't know why she would have to approve of your dress and shoes. My mother in law asked me what she should wear to the wedding and I told her any color except


white,ivory, black (means you disapprove-I know I am old school) and red (bridesmaid dress color).


I suggested she just wear her favorite color (dark purple) she did. I recommended she wear comfy shoes too!


Everything turned out great!
Reply:Well, if your asking why she has to approve the dress and shoes of HER wedding then...


I think its obvious.


Its her wedding isn't it? Yes, it's your sons too but I'm pretty sure men could careless about what the women wear.


Just let her enjoy her wedding. :]
Reply:Bottom line...she may WANT to (badly!) but she doesn't GET to.





It's rude.





Tell her sweetly you are a grown woman who has been in charge of dressing herself for years now and she should not have any further concerns.
Reply:i have no idea.. my mother in law kept calling me to find out what my mom was wearing and then when she picked out her dress she needed a swatch of my color and when she bought it she wanted me to come over and approve it. .. i thought it was sweet that she wanted to make sure it was ok and looked good with my other girls dresses. as so my pictures would look good.my colors are pool and silver.. she got a light green dress and silver shoes :)
Reply:She's a control freak and doens't trust your dress sense!





If she doesn't approve, are you band from attending your son's wedding?
Reply:IF you are in the wedding, then you are just like the bridesmaids...the bride picks out your attire. If you are sitting in the pew and not involved it should not matter. I have seen some mothers show up in HORRIBLE age inappropriate attire. They feel that they can wear anything and look like what they are. 50 year old women trying to wear a 20 somethings clothes, horrible. I have also seen attire that is just not wedding appropriate at all, much less for a mother. This is her wedding and if you want to be in it, then just like the bridesmaids and the groomsmen, you wear what is requested or approved of. If you can not deal with that for a few hours for one day of your life, you have "hard headed" issues. Please do not ruin her day because you think your opinion is more important than her wedding. My mother in law tried this very early in our wedding planning, we decided to leave the parents out of the wedding and they were just invited quests because she was not willing to accept that her opinion needed to take the back seat. Just deal with it for a few hours at THEIR wedding.
Reply:well she obviously wants to be in control of what you wear. If you will be part of the ceremony then this is understandable to a point. if you are not part of the ceremony you shouyld wear what you want as long as its in good taste. good luck with the bride.
Reply:To make sure you don't clash! It's for your benifit. If you two don't have the greatest relationship, then maybe she wants to be sure you won't pick a bad dress on purpose.
Reply:To make sure you don't show up wearing white or clash horribly with what everyone else is wearing.
Reply:It's for the pictures. Parents of the happy couple will be posed with the wedding party and each other. The bride would like to ensure that the colors and styles are compatible.
Reply:Technically speaking, your future daughter in law doesn't have to approve your dress and shoes before the wedding. But, if this is something that she feels really strongly about, is it really worth getting upset about. There will be much bigger issues in your relationship to come.





She is probably doing this though for the benefit of pictures. Maybe she just wants to make sure that your dress doesn't clash with the bridesmaids or look to matched. Maybe she's coming from a thoughtful place.
Reply:So she knows its appropriate and will look good with everyone else for the pictures.
Reply:maybe its her way to try to connect to you.


she is probably trying to be friends.


its kinda hard to get used to your new mommy so she is probably trying to get used to it.


maybe you should go along with it so her feelings don't get hurt.
Reply:cuz it's her wedding and she probley wants everyone in the wedding party to look good
Reply:talk to your future daughter in law. I am thinking she has a "theme" to the wedding and wanting to make sure there is no odd color or style.
Reply:she's controling. Not a good sign for your son. Just because it is her day does not mean she should be able to dicate how her guests dress.
Reply:She probably just wants to make sure nobody stands out more than her in the pictures and make sure everyone looks appropriate.
Reply:yes you dont want to clash or match her mother



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